PWI’s tag team of the year is standing in the center of the ring, being showered with mixed reactions as usual. Hated by the overly sensitive and cheered by wrestling purists. There was nothing fancy about this tag team, other than their facial and chest hair.
Lassiter: Welcome to episode one of EOW’s newest segment…’The Golden Shower’. Where we will interview wrestlers from around the world. Not just wrestlers on RUSH, Fusion, or Conquest…oh no. Any company. Any show. Any country.
Lassiter: We’re world renowned wrestlers, and as such,…feel the need to spread our greatness.
Lassiter: Now what IS the golden Shower, you ask? Well it’s simple…
Lassiter: You answer three of our questions. If we like your answers…we’ll give you the Golden stamp of approval. BUT, if you disappoint us? We’ll stretch and bend you until you have no choice but to leave here in a stretcher. But before we get to that…I’d like to turn things over to Reverend Larkspur.
Somehow, someway, Lawrence found a monocle and a large scarf to wear.
Lawrence: Dearly beloved, we gather here tonight to honor the memory of Jacob Williams and Zac Taylor, ‘The Dawn’.
Lawrence: Most knew them simply as ‘Who are these guys?”
Lawrence: The careers of Jacob Williams and Zac Taylor will be tragically cut short this Friday night on Conquest at a very young age when they come across two grown men they had no business being in the ring with. I’m saddened to say, the two will never really hit their stride or have the chance to grow up to enjoy what might have been their prime…for they bit off more than they could chew from the start.
Larkspur: When The Dawn was born, they were so full of hope and vigor. They dreamed of being the next Young Gunz or Crunk Juice…coincidentally, both teams are buried in the Golden Cemetery, mind you.
Lassiter: BURIED, BROTHER!
Larkspur: Hashtag ‘Buried’ indeed, Deacon Lassiter.
Larkspur: The Dawn will leave behind the grieving sister of Zac Taylor, who will soon need guidance, love, and affection. Luckily for her, we aren’t just great at tag teaming wrestlers in the ring, but their sisters as well.
The audience begins to boo very loudly.
Larkspur: Now, now…I only have seventy lines left!
Lassiter: Who…in the…hell…
Courvoisier: Don’t get your knickers in a knot, sugar.
Lawrence: The hell did she say to you? Who the hell are these old bastards?
Lawrence points to the two men behind the large woman.
Courvoisier: You’re standing across from the KINGS of the British independent circuit.
Lassiter: British…independent circuit? That’s like being at the top of your class when you’re home schooled.
Courvoisier slapped Kent across the face, hard. The audience cheered loudly when she slapped Lawrence as well. Both looked at the woman with shocked expressions.
Courvoisier: We didn’t come here to answer no questions.
Lawrence: We’re wrestling THEM, then. Not your fat –
Courvoisier slaps Lawrence again. This time it sends him to the mat, and he rolls out the ring with an embarrassed look on his face. The crowd erupts into laughter.
The two old men struggle to get their robes off.
Don Daddio: You two are about to catch that work.
Lassiter: What work?
Rufus: The work! I got these bricks for hands, kid. I’m about the lay them!
Lassiter looked even more confused as he motioned for his partner to get back into the ring.
Tag Team Match
Purple Reign vs The Golden Age
The scene opens with Briggs backstage. He’s on the phone Amir’s music is just starting up and the cameraman finally approaches him.
Briggs: Hey, let me call you back my match is about to start and some asshole wants a sound byte.
Let me guess you want to know what I think of Amir’s challenge? What I think of him calling me a “bully.” Amir has meant nothing since Patriot Games, he’s a little boy in a man’s sport. He’s a mouse challenging a lion, and he’s been a thorn in my side for too long. As far as him labeling me a bully, that’s just calling a spade a spade, but he should have learned long ago. Life isn’t fair. The strong conquer the weak. That there’s always someone better. It’s a fact of life, A fact of life that I’ll teach to El Segador, that I have been teaching El Segador. I’ll hammer home that fact at Summerbrawl.
He hands his phone to the cameraman.
Briggs: Hold on to that for me this won’t take long.
Briggs walks out onto the stage.
‘Air’ Amir vs Kerry Briggs
Openweight Championship #1 Contender Match
El Guapo vs Poul
Camera fades in as we see Kim Sanders and Blake Adams standing outside of the arena for tonight’s Rush event.
Kim Sanders: Hello ladies and gentlemen, I’m Kim Sanders, and I’m standing here with the United States Champion Blake Adams. Now Blake, last week we saw you go one on one against Obscura Sky and you walked out as the winner..how did you feel after that match?
Blake Adams: How did I feel? Hmm…Well to answer that I would say you should ask Obscura Sky on how he feels after having a match with me. Instead, how about we talk about tonight?
Kim Sanders: Ok well tonight your scheduled to face the Openweight Champion Krash and the Rush Champion El Segador in a triple threat match..What’s your strategy for tonight’s main event match?
Blake Adams: Great question Kim well let’s see Krash is still the same person I beat when I first arrived here and I know he’s the Openweight Champion for a reason but he needs to keep in mind that he’s only the champion because I’m allowing him to hold that title because if I wanted I could set my eyes on that Openweight Championship anytime I want..
Blake stares intensely into the camera and then smiles and laughs
Blake Adams: I’m just busting your balls kid.As for our Rush Champion he’s no different he’s been one hell of a Rush Champion but tonight Kim..
The United States Champion Blake Adams is coming to make a statement tonight and that statement will be revealed later tonight on Rush.
The camera pans to the side, revealing El Segador walking into view. Kim wisely takes a step back as the RUSH Champions approaches the United States Champion. El Segador looks down at the United States Championship Gold around Blake’s waist before glancing over to the RUSH Championship on his own shoulder.
Segador holds up two fingers.
Segador motions around his waist with both hands.
Segador: Dos Cinturones…
El Segador looks Blake up and down before Krash and Nova step in between the two Champions.
Krash : As both of you know, I’m very… greedy for gold. If it shines and glistens, I want it.
Krash unstraps his title from around his waist and puts it in the face of Blake, then in the face of El Segador.
Krash : This title shines a little differently from the ones you guys have huh? I think it’s because I’m holding it! Anyways…. you guys are lucky this isn’t winner takes all, because all the chips would be in and I would be the one cashing out. Next thing you know, Rush would be called the “Krash Casino”.
United States Championship #1 Contender Match
Fatal Four Way
Obscura Sky vs Norman ‘The Natural’ Luna vs Guy Boone vs Yamashita
After being pinned by ObscuraSky, Natural sits up on the mat looking around in the crowd, feeling angry, disappointed, and full of frustration as he gets up on his two feet. Grabbing the steel chair and tossing it out of the ring in anger as he demands a mic from the ring crew pissed off.
Luna: “THAT IS IT!!!!! I AM SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF SEEING THE SAME THING AT EVERY PPV OVER AND OVER AGAIN. OBSCURA ALREADY HAD HIS SHOT AT THE U.S TITLE. SO OBSCURA, LISTEN UP!
Luna: Obscura you better be listening, you had your chance with the champ. Now, its my turn. Sooooo, I’m challenging you to put your title opportunity on the line against me because I am sick of busting my ass in this ring day in and day out for every single one of these fans just to disappoint them over and over again.
Luna: Because if I can’t prove to everyone that I deserve to be in this ring winning that title opportunity…
Luna: I don’t belong in this ring.
Luna tosses the mic and leaves the ring pissed off, not even facing the fans as he heads straight to the back.
The titantron lights up and an image is shown. In a dark room Poul appears with his ominous mask on his face will Poul rocks his head left and right.
Poul: Tick…. Tock…. Tick…. Tock….
Krash, can you hear the clock? Do you know what this clock signifies? Well I can answer that quite simply. Your reign as the openweight champion is about to run out. I have warned you that no matter who is put in front of me, I will not lose. I am your next opponent and I hope you’re ready. I gave you weeks and weeks advance notice that I was coming for you and I will take what you hold dear.
You see here’s the thing, while that title has been with you it has had no prestige at all. Now someone like me can take that title and bring it to heights it’s never reached before. I will main event with the openweight title. Anyone can challenge me, but it will not matter. I am the savior of EOW and soon it will be seen.
Poul takes off his mask and in his face an evil smirk.
See you soon Krash.
Nova vs ‘Ms. Money in the Bank’ Valerie Marie
We find ourselves backstage sometime following El Guapo’s loss to Poul, the lucha sat on a bench near the medical bay, welts had formed on his back neck and arms from being bashed with a chair.
Ricky Spanish walked into the shot and sat next to Guapo.
RS: Last week you were beaten down by this mystery man in your mask, this week again with beat down. What are you going to do about these attacks as it seems you’ve caught the ire of someone?
El Guapo looked sideways at the reporter before answering.
EG: This masked attacker feels the need to imitate me, I’m not threatened by it, imitation is a form of flattery. If he want to fight then I’ll be here, I have no qualm with fighting dirty either.
El Guapo got to his feet and swayed a little.
EG: if it’s all the best with you, I want to go now.
He left before Ricky could get another question out, looking a little dejected Spanish waved for the feed to cut….
A Clash of Champions
Krash vs El Segador vs Blake Adams
The scene opens with Stephen Maxwell watching the action from a monitor backstage. He sighs loudly at the sight of his RUSH Champion being helped to his feet by referees. Ricky walks over without a mic and pats Stephen on the shoulder.
Ricky: I’m getting worried, boss.
Stephen looks to Ricky.
Stephen: Segador will be fine.
Ricky: Not that. There are rumblings you might have a mutiny on your hands. Or worse…Mr. Mayhem May Fire you.
The ginger headed General Manager grew even more pale.
Stephen: Where did you hear this, Ricky?
Ricky: I was inside the bathroom inspecting a glory hole, when I overheard two people talking about your days as General Manager being numbered. They said you’ve lost control of RUSH.
Ricky: You’re letting Briggs run rough shot. Saying and doing as he pleases. That could be our next Champion..
Ricky: Not to mention Poul has broken what…three of our cameras?
Stephen: I’m just going to forget I heard you mention a glory hole, Spanish.
Stephen folded his arms.
Stephen: Lost control? We’ll see about that. Since Briggs loves putting people through tables, we’re going to have ourselves a table Match next week!
Stephen: The RUSH champion, El Segador will teaming with none other than his number one contender for Summerbrawl, Kerry Briggs. They’ll be taking on the Openweight Champion Krash…
Stephen: …and the Openweight number one contender, Poul…in a tables match!
Stephen: For the third show in a row, someone is going through a table. The big difference is that it’s my decision this time. Whose in control now, Spanish?