Larkspur: It is good to be Golden Age, today.
Lassiter: It sure is.
Lassiter: It sure is. It’s amazing to me that with this roll we’ve been on, we were forced into a triple threat tag team match to see who takes those tag team Championships away from the Prestigious Taints at Wrestlelite.
Lawrence chops Lassiter’s chest and winces at how sore his hand was.
Larkspur: Christ! Been working out?
Lassiter: Speaking of that triple threat match. The outcome was absurd! The best team in that match didn’t win. The second best team in that match didn’t win. The worst possible outcome took place. The weakest team picked up scraps.
Larkspur: Truly the darkest timeline, yes. But did we flip out? No!
Larkspur: Because we’re role models.
Lassiter: Understand now that we are without doubt role models, yes.
Lassiter: Role Models meant to the children not only of America, Lawrence, but I don’t know that the people understand that we have received a multitude of fan letters from North Korean children. They have gone out on their own to learn the English language in order to correspond with you and I to thank us for saving tag team wrestling.
Larkspur: They have a very impressive leader Kim Jong dong –
Lassiter: No, no. Ray dong chong. Right?
Larkspur: Ah well we can agree to disagree, but the fact remains I feel like Nelson Mandela when he finally escaped from prison. You know sometimes great injustice happens to the righteous so that we can emerge stronger and more humble than ever before. When one team is placed across from us, I have no doubt we can’t be stopped.
Larkspur: We destroyed H.F.I.
Larkspur: Hell, team World Star hip hop beat H.F.I almost as bad as we did and yet…H.F.I is next in line.
Lassiter chopped Larkspur in the chest.
Lassiter: I thought we weren’t going to let it get to us?
Larkspur gets on a knee to catch his breath.
Lassiter: You alright?
Larkspur gives a thumbs up but remains on one knee.
Lassiter: Golden Age is on a roll, and we’ll truly bring tag team wrestling back to the main event scene once we get those championships. I want the taints to watch real closely tonight. We haven’t lost a tag team match since they barely escaped us.
Lassiter: We are what tag team wrestling is supposed to be. A REAL team, not two randoms brought together. Right, Lawrence?
Lawrence struggles to his feet and coughs loudly.
Larkspur: We don’t care who we’re facing. Our quest to make tag team wrestling matter contiues! We are…
Lassiter: The Trust. We are…
Both: Golden Age!
THE GOLDEN AGE VS DARKSIDE
After the match, Lassiter calls for a mic.
Lassiter: On second thought, we are NOT over that sham of a triple threat. We are going to prove that we are better than both of those teams. Seeing as how H.F.I is only a few weeks away from getting decimated by the Taints…
Lassiter: Crunk Juice!
The audience goes wild at the mention of Fusion’s favorite tag team.
Lassiter: We’ll be waiting for you, although we would prefer it to be March. Hopefully you’re sober enough to show up.
Lassiter tosses the mic to his partner.
Larkspur: Team World Star. Make no mistake about it. We aren’t waiting until March because we’re scared. We’re waiting until March so we don’t get accused of a hate crime. You’re gonna get bent…and stretched…by the best damn tag team this company as to offer!
Cameras fade in from commercial break inside the Prestigious Saints locker room.
Travis: So that’s the plan.
Baine: Travis that’s brilliant.
Travis: This is going to be one of the funnest ass kickings of all time. We finally can beat up Lebron James!!!
That in itself is prestigious!
Not only that but Baine, I tell you what.
That ladder match coming up for WrestlElite has my name all over it. Then I am going to come after that Intercontinental Championship and add another accolade to my career.
Baine: You know I have to be honest I know we started the joke of Showtime being Lebron James but i feel like we are insulting Lebron. Hell atleast Lebron has talent unlike that joke who is currently holding my G1 Championship.
Travis: Wait wait wait I almost forgot. That’s right we have to defend the tag belts against the young gunz.. Wait, no, The Trust….. No that’s not it, is it bad omen, The Fletcher Brothers, mmmmmm that’s not it. Golden Age? That would make sense right? Well it’s not crunk Juice.
Baine: Travis I have no clue who we are facing at Wrestlelite but I do know that no matter who it is but I do know that the Prestigious Saints will walk out with our Tag Team Championships,
just like I know that I’m gonna walk out not only with the Tag titles but with the Internet Championship plus one other belt once I cash the X1 Summit briefcase in.
Travis: That’s it. The Circus guys. The High wire act. Yea, it won’t take much to trip those guys up.
You know Baine, it’s the top of the world as long as everything goes according to plan.
Baine: Hell yes.
Cameras fade back out to ringside as we cut to commercial break.
NATHAN STEEL VS JACK ACTION
Travis Markson vs SHOWTIME
The camera cuts to the backstage area where we see Eric Shadow walking through the hallway.
He’s got the Elite World Championship on his shoulder.
Shadow: Here we are, back on Fusion. My show. (Chuckling) Ah man I crack myself sometimes. Anyway we are here with a hot and heavy show for everybody. There’s a this match, that match, ummm yeah that’s all I got. Oh yeah I forgot me and the Juice box go at it tonight.
Shadow starts his next statement but he is stopped in his tracks when he sees Da Juice standing in the corner.
Juice in the corner doing his daily dance aerobic exercises to get ready for his match.
Shadow is trying everything not to laugh but he can’t help it.
Shadow: Well, well, well my opponent for the night. Bruce Da Juice Perry. (Laughing) Oh man what are you doing over here?
Shadow: You alright big man. Anybody in there.
Shadow walks to the left and then to right of Juice but he just shrugs his shoulders.
Shadow: Alright well I’ll see you out there. Bring your A game big man.
Shadow starts walking away as whispers to himself and calling Juice a weirdo.
ERIC SHADOW VS DA JUICE
Not too happy about the outcome of the match Shadow pulls himself up as he grabs the Championship and a microphone.
Shadow: I may have underestimated that big bastard but I am still here standing.
Things might’ve not gone my way but I’m not tired. I’m not winded.
I am still standing here as the Elite World Champion.
You hear that Pitbull, the champ is talking to you.
He lays the belt on the ground in front of his feet.
Shadow: This was probably my most humiliating loss in my life but nothing will be more humiliating when you go one on one with me (pointing at the title on the ground) for my Championship.
Because you will lose and forever be known as the dog that Eric Shadow put down.
He picks up the Championship and hold it up in the air as he looks right at the hard cam.
Shadow: I’ll be seeing you soon Pitbull.
My eyes probably weren’t on the prize tonight but trust me my eyes will see right through you when retain my Championship.
He throws the microphone as his music hits.
JUSTIN ROCKSTAR VS MARCO CHARMING *C*
Rockstar rolls out of the ring and yells at the timekeeper to give him a microphone.
He receives one, snatching it from the poor EoW employee.
Rockstar then picks up the chair he was using and rolls back into the ring, setting up the chair over Marco’s body and sitting on it, looking down at Marco.
Rockstar: See Marco Polo, you were nearly a pawn in my charade tonight Marco Polo.
*looks around at the audience*
Justin Rockstar knows everyone is paying attention now, not like a few weeks ago when Justin Rockstar told all of you and this pathetic roster that they should be ashamed of themselves.
Yet you fat greasy slimeball fans continued to cheer Justin Rockstar on, not taking Justin Rockstar’s words to heart.
And so Justin Rockstar realized, actions speak louder than words.
*smirks as he looks down at Marco again.*
Justin Rockstar is tired, tired of you, tired of rogue zebras, tired of not being respected by the EoW community. Justin Rockstar has to sit at home and read Jack Action tell Justin Rockstar other people deserve a title shot before Justin Rockstar when Justin Rockstar has been busting Justin Rockstar’s ass for this company since day one, yet Justin Rockstar hasn’t been to WrestlElite in three years!
From now on, Justin Rockstar only cares about Justin Rockstar! Justin Rockstar only does what Justin Rockstar does for Justin Rockstar! And Justin Rockstar doesn’t care what Justin Rockstar has to do, Justin Rockstar is going to feature in Justin Rockstar’s WrestlElite!
Rockstar drops the microphone on Marco’s face, smiling at the camera. The crowd boos as Fusion fades to an end.