EoW CONQUEST 1.4.2019

author image by Mayhem | 0 Comments | 03 Jan 2019

CONQUEST 2K19 week 5

Crunk Juice is hanging outside the locker room area in the hallway, just loitering.

Crunk: *mid chant* –fuck, fuck, fuck, mother-mother fuck, mother-mother fuck-fuck! Mother-fuck-, mother-fuck, mother-fuck, noinch, noinch, noinch, smoking weed, smoking weed, doing coke, drinking beers! Drinking beers, beers, beers, rolling fatties, smoking blunts! Who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts!

The Prestigious Saints approach them.

Baine: Lemme get a nickel bag.

Crunk: Fifteen bucks, little man. Put the money in my hand. If the money does not show, then you owe-me-owe-me-owe.

My Jungle Love! Yes, Oh-we-oh-we-oh! I think I want to know ya’, know ya’–

Baine: *digging in pockets* What the hell are you singing?

Crunk: You don’t know “Jungle Love”? That shit is the mad notes. Written by God Herself and handed down to the world’s greatest band–the motherfucking Time.

Markson: The guys in that Prince movie?

Baine: Purple Rain.

Markson: Man, that shit was so gay–fucking eighties style.

Crunk suddenly grabs Markson by his shirt, pushing him against the wall.

Crunk: Bitch, don’t you NEVER say an unkind word about The Time! Me and Silent Juice modeled our whole fucking lives after Morris Day and Jerome! I’m a smooth pimp who loves the pussy, and Tubby here’s my black manservant!

Just then, Niles Reynolds comes around the corner.

Niles: What’d I tell you two about dealing in front of The Trust’s locker room? Drop the T-Mark and peddle your wares someplace else, burn-boy.

Niles begins walking away.

Niles: And for the record, The Time sucked ass.

He exits. Crunk Juice and The Prestigious Saints watch him go. After a beat–

Crunk: Yo-youse guys wanna hear something fucked up about him and Dane?

Niles joins Dane in The Trust’s locker room.

Niles: Hey, can’t we do something about those two stoners hanging around outside all the time?

D$X: Why? What’d they do now?

Niles: I’m trying to watch Fusion, and all I can hear is the two them screaming about Morris Day at the top of their lungs.

D$X: I thought the fat one didn’t really talk much.

Niles: What, am I producing an A&E Biography about ’em? I’m just saying they shouldn’t be loitering around the locker rooms like they do.

D$X: Neither should you, but we let you stay.

Niles: See, man–if you weren’t so focused on cracking on everyone then maybe you’d have time to watch Fusion and know that we aren’t facing The Golden Age at Blacklist!

D$X: What?

Niles shows his phone to Dane, showing Baine and Elbaino winning on Fusion.

D$X: What? But how… wait a minute, that’s–

The Prestigious Saints enter The Trust’s locker room, chuckling.

Baine: Yo–how was the service?

Niles: What service?

Markson: The one at the Unitarian church where you two got married to each other last week.

Niles: What the hell are you talking about?

Baine: Crunk said you had a Star-Wars themed wedding and you guys tied the knot dressed like storm troopers.

Markson: Yeah. And he said you’re the bitch *pointing to Dane* and you’re the butch *pointing to Niles*. Oh, sorry–the Leia and the Luke.

D$X: I’m the bitch?!

Niles: Well if we were gay, that’s how I’d see it.

D$X: Would you shut up?!

Baine: *to Markson* Holy shit, dude. The honeymoon’s over.

D$X: We’re not married to each other.

Baine: Well, sure. Not in the eyes of the state or any real church, Skywalker.

Niles: *dialing his phone* That does it. I’m gonna do something about those two. I shoulda done a long time ago.

Markson: In a galaxy far, far away!

Baine: *exiting with Markson* May the Foreskin be with you. Hand Jabba the Hutt.

Niles: Yes, this is a message for Mr. Mayhem. Travis Markson is Elbaino and he is intruding on our locker room! Hello? Hello?

The scene fades with Niles and Dane looking annoyed.

*The camera fades in and we see David Jackson walking backstage.

He is in his own little world with a smile on his face. The sound of someone’s voice breaks the mundane silence in the air.*

Sanders(Projects) D-Jack, stops a moment, D-Jack.

*David stops and turns around. Kim Sanders catches up to him, but D-Jack starts to walk away again.*

Sanders(Pleading) D-Jack, stop moving and explain yourself. Why did you do that last week to Aaron Walker?

Jackson(Doesn’t stop) That’s easy, he wasn’t tender enough.

Sanders(Confused) What do you mean?

Jackson(Calm) I left him hanging like a stuffed pig and the meat had to be tenderized. I would’ve continued, but I forgot two very important things.

Sanders(Concerned) What would those be?

Jackson(Nostalgic) My portable smoker and my jar of honey. I do so love meat with a honey glaze.

*The camera and Kim stops following David. He keep on walking as if nothing is wrong.*

Jackson(Out of camera range) I’m going to eat good tonight.

Sanders(Frantic) If Aaron Walker is in the building, RUN!

*Kim Sanders rushes out of camera range as the camera fades out.*

Crunk Juice open challenge

In the hallway we see a camera making its way through each door or the locker rooms. An angry and agitated Randy Crowe is pacing back and forth in his room while smoking a cigarette.

Crowe: It has been over 2 weeks and I’m still not happy with my performance in the rumble. 14 minutes. 14 minutes of seeing no good jackasses dancing, barely putting the work in, and not paying attention to what is going on.

Of course me, the guy who seems to be stuck in the losing game starts first in the match.

Now I did some dominating in there but it wasn’t good enough like always. I try to push things to limit but whatever I do just isn’t good enough.

I don’t give a shit if all it sounds like is me bitching. Because to be honest I actually have things to bitch about

He puts the cigarette out on the wall sits down for a moment.

Crowe: I’m sick of being the push around guy. I’m sick of the people that make me this way. Stress on top of stress goes through my body everyday and there times where I just say fuck it but that doesn’t work either.
(Rocking back and forth in his chair)
I have the itch to inflict pain on so many people but I can’t get it through my head that this needs to happen and that needs to happen.

What will happen in my future because I don’t see anything happening. But one thing’s for sure I have a target on everyone.

Whether you face me and I win or lose, I will make sure without a shadow of doubt, I will hurt you in so many ways.

By the way, that message was for D-Jack.
I already know that you think your psychotic but you’ve never met a crazy motherfucker like me.

That goes for everybody else.

He stands up out of his chair with his hands shaking with all of the intensity going through his body.

Crowe: I am the hell that everyone will see in their nightmares.
They want to think that Satan is staring into their soul but it’s not.

It’s looking right at as you deteriorate and fall apart from my presence.


The cameraman slowly walks backwards out the room and the screen fades to black.

*The camera fades in and we are backstage. A door opens and there are two men in a room with professional settings. It is Henrik von Jackson and David Jackson. They appear to be wrapping up a sessions.*

von Jackson: (Calm) Well David, I believe we made some progress this session. Is there any questions you have for me?

Jackson: (Calm) Do you know the difference between a killer and a murderer?

von Jackson: (Shakes his head) There is no difference, they are both monsters.

Jackson: (Chuckles) Oh, doctor. So smart and yet so uninformed. A killer is someone who commits a homicide, homicide being defined as one person causing the the death of another.

Homicides can be accidental or deliberate, or they can be justified, excusable, or criminal. However, they won’t kill everyone they see because they can.

A murder is a criminal homicide that is committed with malice aforethought, that is some deliberate evil intent that led to the death.

They will kill because they can, gives them pleasure, view it as necessary as breathing, etc.

von Jackson: (Hmmm) Perhaps Jackson, perhaps. Oh yes, I was given a message before your session. Your match has been changed tonight.

Jackson: (Curious) How has it been changed?

von Jackson: (Takes out the note) Well, you will now…

Jackson: (Stops him mid sentence) On second thought, don’t tell me. I want to be surpised. It doesn’t matter the changes, (Smiles) all will lay beneath my heel (Stops smiling). Now, if you excuse me, Barbie needs to be cleaned.

*David Jackson stand up and walks out of camera range as the camera fades out.*

Annihilation Match
David Jackson vs Randy Crowe

The segment opens with current Conquest Champion, Jacob Williams shadow boxing by a curtain that leads to the stage.

After throwing ten punches, he quickly shifted to the push up position before performing more exercise reps.

The camera panned to the side, revealing Madison Cox approaching the Champion with a shopping bag in hand.

Jacob continued to exercise as if Madison wasn’t there until she cleared her throat…loudly. Jacob stopped in place and quickly hopped to his feet.

Jacob: Yea?

Madison smiled, opened the shopping bag, and pulled out a cape that could have draped down to Jacob’s legs.

Madison: Ta-daaaa!

Jacob raised a brow.

Jacob: The Hell…

Madison: I got a matching one for me too. Okay! I’ve got a seamstress waiting in your dressing room. They’re going to take your measurements.

Jacob: My measurements?

Madison: Like duh, for your new ring gear. I’ve got to make you more…marketable.

Jacob: No offense, but I’m not into the glittery crap. That’s your boyfrie-

Madison: Fiancé.

Jacob: Yea, that. I don’t need all that. You don’t need to market me. You don’t need to change my gear. I became champ by being true to myself.

Jacob: Why change now? Once I beat Dennis Black, this thing with us is done.

Madison pouts.

Jacob: So, let’s focus on the match tonight.

The camera pans to the left when Dennis Black approached Madison and Jacob. The crowd cheered as he looked from Madison to Jacob.

Dennis: If you need some advice on how to beat Baine, look no further than me. Done it once already this season.

Madison folded her arms in annoyance.

Jacob: Just not…

Jacob picked up the Conquest Championship from the ground and placed it over his shoulder. He then pats is hard.

Jacob: When it was time to keep your belt. So, I don’t think I’ll be taking advice from you when it comes to Baine.

Dennis glared and stepped closer to Jacob. Jacob grinned down at the smaller competitor. They were face to face.

Jacob: Too bad I couldn’t have helped you last week. I could have given you advice on how to beat Ian Bates when he came for what’s mine. Good luck tonight with Matrix, though. He’s another scrappy guy. Lots of talent. But, can at least beat him…right?

Jacob brushed by Dennis before he walked toward the catering area. The segment ends with Madison and Dennis staring at each other.

*Baines music hits as it fills the conquest arena as he makes his way down to the ring with his newly won championship belt and his X1 Summit briefcase.

When he reaches the ring he climbs in and sets his briefcase down and then motions for a microphone.*

Baine: Now I know all you idiots were expecting your little hero Dennis Black to retain the Internet Championship but as you all can see he clearly failed and couldn’t get the job down. Now Dennis don’t beat yourself up over what happened at Patriot Games when I beat you and took that prestigious looking belt off of your waist but just know its in a much better place.

You see Dennis I did tell you ahead of time what was going to happen but instead of listening to a Saint you decided to listen to the she-devil known as Madison and speaking oh her something tells me if it wasn’t for Madison you probably would have never held onto this championship in the first place.

I mean if she wasn’t around you wouldn’t have anyone to manipulate the referees or cause some type of distraction for you to get lucky in your matches but you see at Patriot Games all that didn’t matter because at the end of the day a Saint always prevails over his enemies no matter how many demons he has to go through.

Now, there’s one more thing I want to touch on and that’s the Tag Team Championships…

Dane..Niles you two made those belts a joke ever since they been in the hands of the “Trust” and you somehow manage to beat myself and Travis Markson to retain those Tag titles.

Now I will be one and hell maybe the only one to tell you congratulations on overcoming the best tag team in EoW history the Prestigious Saints but you need to be reminded of one thing and that is I still have this *holds up the summit briefcase* prestigious briefcase which ensures me an opportunity at any championship whenever I feel like cashing this in.

So with that reminder being said I want the Trust to remember this one thing you two may have gotten lucky on one night and successfully defended your tag team titles against the Prestigious Saints but I assure you that me and Travis are far and I mean far from being done with the tag belts and one day in maybe the near future we will claim what is rightfully ours.

So since Dennis Black couldn’t listen to me I’m giving you and Niles or whoever in the Trust that will end up defending those belts a friendly warning…

The next time we all step in this ring and those belts are on the line I assure you that the Prestigious Saints will walk out as your New Tag Team Champions.

Now with that said I think its time for me to take my things and myself and leave this shit hole that we all call Conquest and in the meantime, I think I will go to fusion and hang out there with my friend and tag team partner Travis Markson and watch some real wrestlers and not these damn rookies here on Conquest.

*Baine drops his mic and throws his Internet Championship over his right shoulder and picks up his X1 Summit briefcase and exits the Conquest ring he then walks up the ramp then heads backstage as cameras then focus on the Conquest commentary team as they prepare for the upcoming matches for the night.*

Dennis Black vs Matrix

#1 Contendership for the
EoW Internet Championship
Ian Bates vs Byron Parsons

Byron Parsons walks over and grabs a mic , then walks over to Ian Bates and extends his hand, Parsons helps Ian Bates to his feet .

Parsons: First let me say Ian This was one of my toughest fights , you are one great competition and one day you will be a champion here in EOW.

Parsons and Ian Bates shake hands and Ian leaves the ring .

Parsons: Now to the business at hand. I have two questions for everybody here tonight!

Who’s your new Number 1 contender to the internet title and Who’s the sexiest man here in EOW?

The crowd in unison

Parsons: That’s right baby .

Last week I may have been confused as to who is the Internet champion but make no mistake about it whoever the
Champion is when I get my title shot . The title will become sweet and the age of sweetness will be upon us .

Parsons drops the mic and exits the ring .

Main Event
Baine vs Jacob Williams

After grabbing a mic, Madison struts on to the apron and waits there as Jacob celebrates his victory over Baine. She cleared her throat loudly, causing Jacob to turn in her direction. She motions to the bottom rope, which prompted a look of annoyance from the Conquest Champion.

Jacob walked over to the apron, placed a boot on the bottom rope, and lifted the middle rope with both hands.

Madison then lowered herself and entered the ring, thanks to Jacob’s help. She tapped on the mic several times before speaking into it.

Madison: That’s right, EoW Universe. I’ve coached not one…but TWO different men to victories over Baine in Conquest main events this season. I guess you could say…I’m the baaaaane of Baine?

She smirked, having amused herself.

Madison: Now then, Jacob. Let’s hope that Baine doesn’t somehow undeservingly become the number one contender for your title after losing to you in a non title match.

Madison: Mr. Mayhem seemingly has a habit of shoving Baine down the throats of these fans…when they aren’t shoving hot dogs or other unhealthy products there themselves.

Madison: I know a thing or two about old…and out of touch owners making bad decision. I’m not saying the supposed ghost of wrestling past plays favorites, but…

The Conquest audience started to boo while Jacob raised a brow.

Madison: Fine, fine. I won’t kick a man while he’s down. I know he’s recovering and probably watching from…somewhere.

Madison waved at the camera.

Madison: You’re welcome, boss! I’ve made your Champion a stud!

Before Madison could say another word, Jacob placed his hand over the mic. The audience replied with a collective ‘oooooooh!’ as Jacob gently snatched the mic from his new found partner.

Jacob: A: Show some respect. As smart as you are, our boss has forgotten more about this sport than you’ll ever learn. He’s seen and done it all.

Jacob: B: Yea, your advice about Baine helped…tonight. But I’ve been doing this for a bit, now. You didn’t make me a stud. I’ve been beating people that others thought I couldn’t since I joined EoW.

Dennis: C: The clock is ticking on my run as Conquest Champion.

Madison and Jacob followed the sound of Dennis’s voice. They stared at him as he walked down the ramp with a mic in hand. Madison stepped aside when Dennis joined them in the ring.

Dennis: Sorry, Champ. Was just trying to help you get the rest of your thoughts out.

Jacob: I’d ask you to finish my next thought, but there are children in the crowd. Children only a bit taller than you.

Dennis rolled his shoulders into a shrug as the audience laughed.

Jacob: Nice job with Matrix, tonight. Looked close.

Dennis: Thanks, Champ. I give to charity often, but tonight I just wasn’t feeling in the most festive of moods. He shoulda caught me last week.

Dennis: I just wanted to come out here and remind you…the clock is ticking.

With a smirk, Jacob draped the Conquest Championship over his shoulder.

Jacob: The clock is ticking, eh?

Jacob: I’ve heard a bit about you. You and Madison here came from a place where what went on backstage mattered more than what went on in this ring. Understand something, new guy. Last season ended with me carrying Conquest on my back. This season started with the same story, me carrying Conquest on my back.

Jacob: You may have had the edge on people in that other company because of her fast talking and your fast kicks. But here? You aren’t fighting men over forty week after week. EoW is full of hungry fighters on all three brands. You were dominant over there. But here, little guy…not so much. Because no one is intimidated by a guy that needs help reaching the top isle in a supermarket.

Jacob: A good amount of people want to see you win. Hell, even the marketing department is primed for that night to be your potential crowning. Dennis Black is at the front of the poster for Blacklist, everyone. The event practically writes itself.

Jacob looks around to the audience.

Jacob: You haven’t even had ten matches here yet! Meanwhile, guys like Tre Michaels and D-Jack are at the way back of the poster because –

Madison: They’re ugly?

Madison shrugged.

Madison: EoW is wrestling. EoW is progress, and a place of competition. But this IS a business, Jacob. No company in their right mind can send someone that looks like those two to promote this company on morning talk shows. Their fans are what we would call…the unimportant basement dwellers, or the uh…internet fans?

Madison: Rush has no Champion, yet. Fusion is a mess because their Champion looks as if he breaks into homes before setting them on fire. Meanwhile, the most popular guy in this company dresses as a clown and probably shouldn’t be allowed around children.

Madison raises a finger as the boos aimed in her direction get louder.

Madison: Anyway! This match between the two of you is very important to the company. With the state of Rush and Fusion being what they are…it’s on the two of you. Two hungry lions to lead this company throughout 2019.

Dennis looks back to Jacob.

Dennis: Tick…tock.

Jacob: I was the underdog tonight, and I won. I was the underdog against Bates…and I won. You, Dennis. Remind me of Sam Russ.

Dennis and Madison: ….Who?

Jacob: I was the underdog going into that match as well…and i beat him to earn this. Just like i’m going to beat you at Blacklist.

Dennis points at the Conquest Championship.

Dennis: You became Champion at a time when Conquest was a farming system for the main roster. Conquest is no longer a place for guys in development. This brand doesn’t measure up to Fusion or surpass until I beat you for that. That thing on your shoulder is just a prop…a participation award…until I beat you.

Dennis: You and I? Regardless of where our match falls. ‘We’ are the main event. On a night where Rush and Rise crown their first Champions…the only thing anyone is ever going to remember about Blacklist for years to come is that it was the night that I cemented myself as the future of this company.

Dennis: The first time I beat you was an exhibition. The Internet and Conquest Champions going at it. A contest between two rising stars in this company. But, our second match? This match will define you as the second best wrestler on Conquest. Just another guy that wrestles at a very high level. A level beneath Dennis Black.

Dennis tosses the mic to Madison and exits the ring. Jacob goes to follow him, but Madison tugs on one of his arms, telling him to save it for the pay per view. The show ends with a closeup of the Conquest Champion looking furious.

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